Without A Map
by LoveIsAlwaysLouder
Summary: Post AYITL: Jess and Rory are working closely together to get her book finished before the baby arrives. As Jess learned more about the story he couldn't help but wondering that if Rory was becoming Lorelai and Logan was becoming Christopher then who was he?


Where you lead Chapter 1

Rory had been spending the majority of her time the past few months slaving away over her book. Some parts of her story came quickly, like turning on a faucet and letting the water flow out. Other part of her and her mother's story seemed trapped in the skin of her finger tips, almost at the surface but unwilling to move any further.

As her stomach expanded further and further with every passing week of her pregnancy, the urgency to finish her book seemed to grow and the pressure over took her every thought. She had no dead line, no book agent or publishing house to answer to, but there was something inside of her that was telling her that this book needed to be done before the next Gilmore arrived. Her baby seemed like that opening of a new story and before she could start that one, she needed to finish writing the one she was in now.

The gossip surrounding her pregnancy had ripped through Stars Hollow like a wildfire. She had had a small amount of buffer time between when she had found out about the baby and when the rest of the town had started whispering about it. Her mom and Luke's wedding had had everyone distracted for just about a month before the attention turned back to her.

This time however, they weren't muttering about her joining the 30 somethings but rather about the fact that her coffee consumption had gone way down and she was wearing an awful lot of peasant tops these days.

Rory had hoped that with Winter coming up she would have been able to hide her growing bump with a winter coat for at least her first trimester and maybe part of her second, but people around town were far too observant to be fooled that easily.

No one asked Rory about it out right for at least the first few months, somehow they all managed to hold their tongues until they estimated that she was in the "safe zone" and they could start prying.

Still even before that everyone had been dropping not so subtle hints to her.

When she stopped in at Doose's market Taylor was constantly suggesting food that was on "special" such as salmon and dark leafy greens, all things that happened to be good for pregnant mothers.

On more than one ocasion Ms Patty and Babequtte had stopped by the paper to drop her off to go cups of ginger tea because they heard it was " good for nausea".

Rory had always just politely nodded and said rushed thank yous to all these off handed comments and gifts. She knew there was no point in denying it. Everyone would know for sure soon enough.

Everyone who had needed to know for sure already did. Her mom and Luke, her grandmother, Lane, Paris, the father, and surprisingly Jess.

Her mother had told Luke hours after Rory had told her. Lorarli hadn't been able to keep it to herself and Rory had told her that she could tell Luke as a wedding present. She'd told her Grandmother as keeping it from Emily would have caused more harm than good. Telling Lane had seemed like a natural next step. She was her best friend and a mother. She had gone to her for advice she hadn't wanted to talk to her mother about.

Paris had been another story. She hadn't actually intended on telling Paris right away but it was as if Paris could smell it on her. Working with surrogates and pregnant women all day it had taken only a few minutes in Rory's presence for Paris to guess.

"I can't believe this!" Paris had shouted stalking across her office in long angry strides.

" I can't believe that my own best friend would betray me like this! That you would go to someone else for treatments! If i had known you wanted a baby so badly I could have set you up with one of my girls! But no whatever, you go and have some other doctor shoot you up with some random man's… ugh! It's going to ruin your body you know that right?"

Rory had cut her off then.

" Paris what are you talking about?" Paris had rolled her eyes in response.

" I'm talking about your betrayal. About you choosing to have a child with the help of another doctor instead of me. Your supposed closest friend." Rory furrowed her brow.

" I didn't choose another doctor. I didn't choose to get pregnant. It just.. Happened." Rory explained, crossing her arms over her stomach self consciously. Paris looked completely taken aback.

"You mean you got pregnant by yourself? With absolutely no medical intervention?" Paris asked dumbstruck.

"Thats right." Rory said, watching as Paris sunk into the chair across from her, still in utter shock.

" i'm sorry i spend all my time surrounded by women with an inability to bear children, sometimes i forget that it can happen naturally, and at your age!"

"I'm 32!" Rory shot back defensively.

"Yes, which means that your prime is behind you!" Rory didn't dignify that with a response.

"Wait who's the father?"

…..

Logan had been the most difficult person to tell. When she had said goodbye to him the last time she had really intended for it to be the last. They had been holding onto the threads of their relationship for too long. There was nothing there. Nothing that could be scrapped together to be saved.

But this wasn't something she could keep from him. He deserved to know.

…

Jess finding out had been as much of a surprise as Paris, purely in the terms that he guessed. It had taken a little more time for him to put it together then if had for paris but he had put it together pretty quickly.

Luke and Lorelai we're hosting thanksgiving dinner that year but rather than trying to cram their family, plus Liz and TJ, Emily, and whatever other town stranglers that were tagging along, into the living room they had decided to hold the event at Luke's diner. They had pushed the tables together and Luke had cooked up more than enough food to feed the whole town.

Jess and Rory had talked all through dinner, discussing the pages of her book that she had sent him and getting into other heated discussions and debates about other books they had recently read or stories they had heard on the news.

After dinner, dessert was served. Pieces of pie were dished out and cups of coffee poured. Rory took this moment to excuse herself. She slipped behind the counter and headed up to the apartment above the shop.

She pushed open the door and stepped into the apartment. Her boxes were piled up everywhere. Luke had helped her bring them up a week or so ago but she hadn't done anything with them yet.

"Moving in?" Asked a familiar voice from behind her. Rory turned to see Jess slipping in the apartment door behind her. She smiled at him.

"Yeah. It's slightly less pathetic than living in my old room. Its private, a quiet place to write and"

" and there's lots of room for the baby." Jess said knowingly. Rory took a step back, in slight shock.

" How did you-" He smirked at her.

" Come on Ror. You're not drinking coffee, you refused wine with dinner, and no offense but when i came by this morning I could smell the puke on your breath" he half joked.

Rory let out a laugh and shook her head at him, smiling.

"Not that it's really any of my business, but whose the d-"

"The dad?" Rory said before he could finish. She took a seat on top of one of the sturdier boxes and gestured for Jess to join her.

"It's Logan." she said simply. Jess's eyes widened as he took the seat beside her that she had offered.

"You mean the one who-"

"That's the one." Rory said finishing his thoughts once again.

"So where is he? Off somewhere shopping for cribs?"

" No. He's in London. He's getting married next week." She said simply.

" and he know about this?" Jess asked in almost horror. Rory nodded.

"And does his fiancee know?" He pressed.

"She's fine with it. She's very stereotypically french. People have mistresses, and sometimes those mistresses get pregnant. It's just something to sweep under the rug."

" What an ass." Jess said in anger, about to get to his feet as if he planned to walk to London and deck Logan the way he had always wanted to.

" It's fine. He offered to leave her but I knew he wouldn't. If he wanted to leave her for me he would have the second we re connected. I think he thought that maybe she would leave him when he told her about me but no such luck. He doesn't really do anything unless its easy. I should be torn up about it, but i'm not. Logan and I, we were never meant to be. If i had really wanted to be with him I would have said yes when he proposed."

" He proposed?" Jess asked in shock.

" At graduation" She explained quickly.

" It wasn't right then, and it's not right now. A baby doesn't change that."

"That's very mature of you." Jess said jokingly with an heir of seriousness.

" I watched my parents go back and forth for years. Will they, won't they. They broke each other hearts more times than i can count. Some part of history are doomed to repeat themselves" Rory said bringing her hands to her stomach.

" but not all of it. Writing this book more than ever i see how my life and my moms are starting mirror, but unlike her i have this kind of map of the future. I have a kind of idea of what lays down each different road. I don't have to spend half my life wanting him and wondering when it's not what we really want. Or i guess want isn't the right word. It's not what we really need. Either of us." Rory said.

For a moment Jess thought that Rory was talking about herself and Logan, but he soon realized that she was talking about herself and the baby.

"I'm sorry for dumping all this on you." She said, suddenly embarrassed.

" Hey it's not like i didn't ask." There was a beat of silence between them.

"But there's anything i can help you with.." his voice trailed off.

"Actually now that you mention it, i've hit kind of a cross road at this part in the book and i was hoping that you could-"

Rory kept talking as she got up from where they were sitting and walked over to a dusty dining room table where her laptop was.

She pulled up her chapters and started started to walk back over to where Jess sat. She passed him the computer and began to explain how she wasn't sure about how to properly word a certain interaction she remembered overhearing between her mother and her grandmother when she was nine.

Jess was doing his best to listen to her problems and offer good advice but in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wondering that if Rory was becoming Lorelai and Logan was becoming Christopher then who was he?


End file.
